Mr Monk Enters the Hunger Games
by Redheadedbookworm77
Summary: Title says it all. For those of you who don't know about Mr. Monk, there's a description inside. There's also no Katniss back story and the rating's only for language so far.
1. Chapter 1

**So for those of you who don't know who Mr. Monk is, he's an OCD detective with about a zillion phobias and a keen sense of attention to details (or something like that).**

**Since I don't even know who owns Mr. Monk, I'm just saying that I don't own anything in this story (including bits from the Hunger Games),**

**So read, review, and enjoy! This isn't meant to be a serious story anyways...**

Chapter 1

"And the male tribute for District 2 is Adrian Monk!" Pixie Firedrop yelled into her microphone, her long and sparkly green nails catching the light as she turned to face the audience. A roar of young men wanting to volunteer filled the square, but Pixie silenced them with the wave of her hand.

A serious boy, only about 15, was shoved from the back of the square to the stage by the mass of people collected there. He cringed under the touches of his fellow district mates and he held a handkerchief to his face. His immaculate white shirt was tucked into his crisp gray pants and during the last few feet to the stage, he inched along, trying not to touch anybody. When he finally reached the stairs of the stage, he cautiously stepped onto the first step, testing it for sturdiness. The step creaked slightly, so Adrian Monk stood firmly on the ground.

"Now, Mr. Monk, come on up here!" Pixie exclaimed, beckoning Adrian towards the stage. Adrian just stared at her and then glanced at the menacing staircase. "Okay, whatever you want sweetie!" Pixie said and walked down to Adrian's level. She tried to put the microphone to his mouth, but Adrian took his handkerchief and wiped it off, sending feedback throughout the square.

"Hey, what the hell's your problem!" a few men yelled. A roar of agreement followed his words, but even from her low vantage point, Pixie was able to silence them.

"So, Mr. Monk, would you like to be a tribute?" Pixie asked Adrian, her voice dripping with as much sweetness as her bubble gum pink hair. Adrian just stood there until Pixie could only take his silence as an acceptance to be a tribute. She grabbed his hand before Adrian could protest and pulled it up to the sky.

"Ladies and gentlemen…your 99th Hunger Games District 2 male tribute!" she yelled joyously.

The crowd booed and Adrian Monk called for a wipe.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay so it's been a while since I updated so I tried to make this chapter better-ish. Anyways, I'm going to start updating only once a week (probably Fridays) since school is starting up and I'm not going to have as much time to write.**

**So I'm kinda apologizing in advance but Mr. Monk is probably the hardest character I have written and as I start out, it's going to be hard for me to work out his little phobias and patterns and whatnot. Also, his "noticings" aren't going to be too grand until I get better at his whole persona so please just bear with me! I'm going to try and get his character just right.**

**Anyways, please read, review, and enjoy!**

Chapter 2

Adrian Monk became even more agitated standing in front of the stage with the thunderous noise when nobody gave him a wipe. By the time Pixie had collected herself enough to lead Monk away, he wouldn't allow her to touch him.

"Wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe," Monk continued to mumble. He refused to move any further until Pixie impatiently called for a wipe. Monk began to twist his hands, trying to shake off the germs.

Finally, a burly Peacekeeper walked over and gave Pixie a small package of the Capital's antibacterial wipes, which were guaranteed to kill 99.99% of the germs. Monk saw the label and refused to take a wipe.

"What's wrong now?" Pixie asked, her tone getting sharper with every passing second. The Peacekeepers were having a hard time keeping the crowd from stampeding Monk, which would most likely kill him, forcing District 2 to come up with a new tribute.

"Only 99.99& of the germs are killed with that wipe. That means that there will be .01% left and those germs will multiply until they can infect me," Monk said. Pixie sighed in exasperation.

"Just take the damn wipe so we can go!" Pixie yelled. She seemed to have forgotten her perfect Capital manners.

"But I can't just let-," Monk was cut off by Pixie grabbing his hand, yet again, and dragging him towards the Town Hall. Since Adrian had never allowed himself to sweat, his athletic skills were below par and he couldn't shake Pixie off.

When Pixie, Monk, and the other tribute, Elle finally reached the Town Hall after navigating through various security checkpoints, Pixie let go of Monk and called for an extreme sanitation regimen for her tribute. She thought to herself, _it was going to be a long Hunger Games._

Monk nearly cried out in joy when a Peacekeeper brought plastic gloves, handkerchiefs, tissues, bottles of hand sanitizer, wipes (the labels discreetly taken off), and face masks.

"You are my savior," Monk said, reaching his hands out toward the Peacekeeper and showing the hint of a smile. "Tell your wife and kids you saved my life."

The Peacekeeper looked at the boy in shock. "How did…how did you know about my family?"

"You keep on twisting your ring finger and there's a slight indentation on your glove. As for your children, I saw you take out two pictures during the reaping and kiss them while they called out the names," Monk said.

"Bu-but h-h-how? H-h-how d-d-do y-you d-do th-that?" the Peacekeeper stammered out.

"It's a gift…and a curse," Monk said, saying it as if he had repeated this many times.

Adrian Monk prepared himself wisely: he put on a facemask and pocketed the rest of the items. He took a wipe and looked suspiciously at it. Even though he knew they took off the tag for his sake, he felt safer since he was armed with tools of mass germ destruction. When Monk wiped his hands, Pixie sighed and looked visibly more relaxed.

"Now, we go and meet the loved ones and then we board the train for the Capital! Who's ready for the Hunger Games?!" Pixie cried out with fake enthusiasm.

Monk just stared at her and all he took from her little spiel was that he would be boarding a train. The Peacekeeper, now fully recovered from his interaction with Monk, winked at Monk and Monk just laughed nervously.

Monk, Pixie, Elle, and the Peacekeeper walked up the stairs that led to the Town Hall. It took Monk the longest because, even though the stairs were solid marble, he still didn't trust them. At the end of the fifty-three stairs (Monk counted and cringed at the uneven number), Monk dared a peek behind him and saw nearly all of District 2 splayed out, including the stage where he had been chosen. It now looked like a small play table for a child's dollhouse. He doubled over as a wave of nausea hit him and Pixie just barely managed to pull him away from the threatening stairs. As soon as she let go, Monk took out a wipe and wiped his hands. He gave the wipe to Pixie.

Elle rolled her eyes and the Peacekeeper doubled over laughing. Monk looked as if he was oblivious to their actions when he was in fact taking all the details in. Pixie, looking absolutely livid at this point, commanded all three of them to behave themselves and to follow her inside the Town Hall.

The Town Hall was painted a light blue with gold embellishments. The ceiling rose two stories above their heads and the whole top was made of glass panes arranged in a dome. A few glass panes were opened to let the evening breeze circulate the room. Monk stopped abruptly.

"What is it now, Mr. Monk?" Pixie asked, ice punctuating every word.

"There are two windows opened that are right next to each other and the other window is by itself and it's not directly across from the others," Monk explained. The Peacekeeper was trying to hold in his laughter while Elle actually laughed out loud.

"Well, I'll get the Town Hall crew on it," Pixie said, turning to walk away. Monk didn't follow. He was still staring up at the ceiling.

"They aren't even…" Monk mumbled. Pixie shot around.

"Mr. Adrian Monk. This is the Hunger Games and we work on a schedule. Move your butt along right now before I drag you to where you need to be!" Pixie yelled, her voice reverberating in the hall. Monk stood there and contemplated the situation for a few seconds. He then started to walk towards Pixie, his head still upwards. He stopped again.

"Please, please just have them close that one and open two or close them all," Monk begged.

Pixie glared at him and not for the first time she thought, _this is going to be a long Hunger Games._


	3. Chapter 3

**Please read, review and enjoy!**

Chapter 3

Monk was disappointed and irritated. Pixie hadn't fixed the window situation and even as he sat here waiting for people to say goodbye to him, the uneven window took precedence to any fear or sadness he might have felt. Monk kneaded his hands and a wipe together and after a few minutes of this, took out another wipe and folded the other into a perfect square.

"Adrian?" a male voice called out from behind the heavy oak door closing off his room from the world.

Monk recognized the voice. It was his brother Ambrose.

"Yes. Who else did you think was in here?" Monk said tersely. The door opened and a tall, lanky figure walked in. There were several similarities between the brothers: close cropped, curly, coarse black hair, brown eyes, pale, sallow skin, and impeccable clothing. However, Ambrose was more awkward and genius than his brother, if that was even possible. Ambrose could already speak many languages at his young age but he could only speak properly to his family.

"Well, there could've been a mistake," Ambrose said, returning the coldness. Even with their similarities, the brothers found it hard to remain close.

"Do you think the Peacekeepers would send you to a wrong room?" Monk asked, exasperated.

"I don't know! S-some of them are m-mean!" Ambrose yelled, a slight stutter rising in his voice. Monk just tensed up and breathed out an angry sigh.

Suddenly, the walls created by Monk's phobias and anxiety broke down and for a split second, Monk realized the implications of the Hunger Games. Even though his brother annoyed him, the games meant that he would most probably die. In this second, Monk's carefully guarded reserves of passion crept out towards his family, but at the sight of a cobweb in the corner of the ceiling, all of these emotions passed from Monk. The passing left him with a strange sense of calm.

"Ambrose, just tell me what you came here to say," Monk started.

"Adrian, I don't want you to go!" Ambrose cried and reached out to hug Adrian, who reluctantly hugged him back. It was only when Monk felt Ambrose's tears seeping in to his shirt that he pulled away and grabbed ten wipes to wipe down his shirt and arms. Ambrose, knowing that the hug was the most precious thing he could ever have from his brother, slumped down against the wall and cried. Just as Monk was starting to fold the ten wipes into perfect triangles did the Peacekeeper walk in and say that Ambrose's time was up. Ambrose glanced back at his brother, who kept his head down while continuing to fold the wipes, and allowed himself to be pushed out of the room.

In the next half hour or so, nobody came to see Monk. In a way, Monk wasn't disappointed because he never really cared for his mother or father, the latter of which had abandoned the family after a trip downtown. Monk had never forgiven him for leaving him, especially with the pains of raising him and his brother. Sometimes, Monk would cry at night thinking that his father left because of him.

At the end of this half hour, a Peacekeeper walked in to escort Monk away. As he walked past the solid door, a cry came out from the end of the hall.

"Adrian!" a man yelled. Monk knew the voice and he froze. "Adrian! I need to talk to you!"

"I'm sorry mister but visiting hours are over," the Peacekeeper stated.

"I just need to talk to him. I tried to get here but it took me a while to find my way here," the man said.

Monk turned to face the man and took in his disheveled appearance before speaking. "Dad, I know you were drinking," Monk said. He could see his father wringing his hands and shaking slightly.

"Bu-but Adrian, I wanted to see you again before they sent you off to the Hunger Games. I needed to see you," his father said and approached him. As he came closer, he tried to embrace Monk but Monk backed away in disgust.

"You left us! You left us and the reason you come back is because I'm leaving!" Monk yelled at the begging figure. Having enough of his father, Monk turned his back and stalked away, tapping each of the doorknobs on the way down the opposite end of the hallway. He could hear the cries of his father as a few Peacekeepers dragged him away, but Monk only looked back at the receding figures after he reached the end of the hallway.

A Peacekeeper beckoned Monk through a door and outside to the train station, where Elle and Pixie stood waiting for him. Behind them, a large green train was puffing out smoke into the clear sky. The train filled Monk with anxiety and he stopped short.

"Come on Adrian! We're on a schedule here!" Pixie yelled over the sounds of the train. Realizing what was happening, a Peacekeeper motioned to an accomplice, who ran inside quickly. Monk stayed rooted to the spot.

"What the hell is your problem? It's a freaking train!" Elle cried. She looked ready to use some of her Career skills on Monk, but he stayed where he was.

After a few minutes of being yelled at by Pixie and Elle, the Peacekeeper that had just left came back, holding something shiny in his hand. When he came closer to Monk, he saw that it was a needle, but before he could run away, another Peacekeeper grabbed a hold of his arms.

Monk fainted before the needle even touched his skin.

Monk woke up to the soft rattling of the train moving through the countryside. He remembered most of what had happened beforehand: the only fuzzy moment was when he had actually passed out. The realization of being on a train sent Monk into a panic.

"Is anybody there? Let me off this train!" Monk yelled through the door. He covered his hand with his sleeve and pounded on the door. When nobody answered after about ten minutes, Monk turned around to check his bed for cleanliness. Since it passed his quick test in his state of panic, he curled up on the bed.

"I'm going to die. I'm going to die," he mumbled to himself, talking more about the train than the Hunger Games. He lay like this for the whole night, never sleeping once.

In the dining cart, Elle, Pixie, and the two mentors (Diamond and Arrow) sat down to eat dinner. They heard Monk's cries earlier and decided against disturbing him. Elle dug into her meal of veal, various fruits, and mashed potatoes hungrily, even though she was well fed at home. Pixie gave her a disapproving look while the mentors ate just as disgracefully. At the end of their meal, the mentors leaned back and gave each other looks. It was time to get down to business.

"Since Adrian isn't here, we would like to talk about your strengths and weaknesses," Diamond said to Elle.

"I can throw knives and lift heavy things," Elle said bluntly.

"What can't you do?" Arrow inquired.

"Survival skills. I just kill," Elle said, twirling her butter knife in her hand.

"Then at the Training Center, you should work on those stations. We want you to also try and join the Careers pack, but try not to show them your strengths until you have them at your mercy," Arrow said with a small sneer.

"At least I have a better chance than that mental hospital patient," Elle scoffed.

"Well, I think that Adrian is very…sweet," Pixie said, trying to come to his defense but failing.

"I agree with Elle, we got a very poor choice of a tribute this year," Diamond said, nodding her head.

Arrow leaned back thoughtfully. "He may have his uses, of course. Elle, I think that you should take advantage of his…flaws and use it to gain sponsors. Everybody loves a good sob story."

"So you want me to start an alliance with the freak," Elle clarified.

"Maybe not an alliance. Just enough of a friendship to gain his trust and manipulate the watchers into thinking that you have depth. Give them some emotion. Tough Career feels sorry for helpless 'freak' and protects him. It's good TV," Arrow said.

Elle groaned, but she knew Arrow was right. A sponsor could mean the difference between life and death and she wouldn't have a hard time killing the weirdo when she was through using him for reviews.

"Okay, I'll be friends with the little bitch," Elle said before throwing the knife into the table, rising, and stomping off to her sleeping cart.


	4. Chapter 4

**I'M SO SORRY! It's just been school work has been ridiculous and I've been on vacations and what not and you probably don't want to read my excuses but I feel really bad for not updating in like three months! I know this chapter is short but I'll try and update again by the end of this week!**

**Anyways, as always, read, review, and hopefully enjoy!**

Chapter 4

When sunlight first began to stream through the train window, Monk realized how parched he was. Standing up, he almost passed out from thirst. He covered his hand with his robe to open the door and steadily made his way to the dining cart.

Monk reached the divider separating the sleeping cart and the dining cart. Even as he opened the door, he could hear the ground rushing beneath him and he jumped back into the doorway.

He yelled over the din of the engine, calling for somebody to help him or give him water.

Pixie came running out of her bedroom, her pink hair looking like cotton candy and her matching silk pajamas wrinkled. On her feet were a pair of silver, fluffy, slippers. She saw Monk slumped against the wall next to the door leading to the dining cart.

"What the hell are you doing?" Pixie yelled. "It's not even six in the morning!"

"I'm thirsty. I'm thirstyyyyy!" Monk moaned.

"Then why don't you go and get some water," Pixie snapped.

Monk merely lifted a weak hand and pointed at the door. Pixie understood in a second.

"Well, Adrian. You should be able to get your own water," Pixie said, happy to finally teach Monk a lesson.

"NO!" Monk yelled. "Adrian Monk, GET YOUR OWN WATER!" Pixie yelled.

Monk suddenly became calm as he stared at Pixie. He stared at her clothing and a thoughtful expression came on his face. "Your pants are on backwards," he said.

"So?" Pixie asked, even though her face turned red.

"You're having an affair. You were with him last night," Monk said nonchalantly.

"No I'm not!" Pixie yelled.

"Your pants are on backwards and you have some smeared lipstick on the corner of your mouth," Monk said.

Pixie stood and stared at Monk, her face giving Monk the evidence he needed to know he was right.

"It's a gift...and a curse," Monk shrugged.

Without saying another word, Pixie shuffled past Monk and walked through the divider. She came back with a pitcher of water and a glass cup. Monk took the two into his bathrobe-covered hands.

"What kind of water is this?" Monk asked, sniffing the clear substance in the pitcher.

"What do you mean...It's water," Pixie said. She had returned to the tone of voice she usually used with Monk.

"There are different types of water," Monk stated.

"No. There's one type. It has one oxygen and two hydrogens," Pixie retorted.

"Well there's the Capitol bottled water, there's District 4 water, there's the Rocky Springs water..."

"What type of water do you want?" Pixie snapped.

"I only drink the Capital's bottled water," Monk said.

"Well, good news. The water in that pitcher meets your standards," Pixie jabbed.

"But it's not bottled," Monk said.

Pixie, losing any dignified exterior she possessed, hurled the water pitcher down the hallway and stormed into the dining cart. She came staggering back with a box of the Capital bottled water and threw it down in front of Monk, who hadn't moved the entire time. She readjusted her frenzied hair and stomped to her room, where she threw the door open and slammed it shut.

The slammed door brought Diamond and Elle into the hallway. They looked at Monk standing next to his box of bottled water and exchanged looks. Elle rolled her eyes and stormed back into her room. Diamond looked around curiously, then turned and walked back into her room. Pixie and Arrow never appeared.

Monk spent the next ten minutes putting all the water bottles facing the same direction. He then grabbed four bottles (an entire row in the box) and took them to his room. Several minutes later, he returned with the four bottles and put them back. He then picked up the very heavy box and staggered off to his room.

Once in the room, Monk used a handkerchief to wipe the small amount of sweat forming on his forehead. He folded it back up and sat on the edge of his bed, sipping water. After two hours, the Capital came into view through Monk's train window.

Somebody knocked on his compartment door. It was time for the beginning ceremonies.

**So thanks for reading and next chapter, I'll have a nice surprise for everybody :).**

**Please review!**


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